Day 4 of Clomid

The side effects have not been too bad. My eczema is still flaring up, but I feel pretty good. I know some of the side effects do not show up until I finish Clomid, but I think they are going to be less this time. I am happy today, I weighted myself and I had lost 4 pounds. Considering I am on Clomid, I am surprised I lost any weight at all. I exercise this week and I have kept myself on a strict diet.

***Update*** - I am now having hot flashes, which are not fun. My office is already warm, and the hot flashes are not helping. I may go walk around to cool off. I can definitely sympathize with women going through menopause.

When dealing with Infertility (IF) I found that people want to offer all sort of advice. The sad part is most of them have no clue what IF is or what is involved. I found the following on a blog and I wish more people would follow this advice.

http://marycaryne.blogspot.com/2007/09/things-not-to-say-or-to-say-to.html

Things Not to Say (or to Say) to an Infertile Couple

NEVER say:

You need a vacation, then you'll get pregnant.

If that were true, we'd have around 8 kids by now....

I can't believe you sought medical treatment. Seeking medical treatment just shows you are spiritually immature and you don't trust God. Crying over it is also a sign of spiritual immaturity.

So do you usually comfort cancer patients this way as well?

Have you tried praying about it?

Now why haven't I thought of that before?

You should try standing on your head after sex so "it" can rush up to your egg.

 Really?

Well at least you know you can get pregnant! [in reference to our miscarriage]

  

Wow, thank you for minimizing my loss of my child to just a test run to see if pregnancy is          possible. Yeah, I appreciate that.

It's all in your head. If you stop thinking about it, it will happen.

Infertility is a real medical issue. I have endometriosis which is a biological reproductive disease and causes my infertility. But yeah, thanks for implying that I'm mentally unstable enough to cause myself to not have kids.

You must not be doing it right, let me show you how it's done.

Keep it up! My husband really enjoys being told that he's apparently inept when it comes to our sexual life.

You must be having lots of fun trying!

Oh yeah, it's a blast when there's all this pressure on both of us, and then you're poked and prodded to get test results and you're asked all kinds of questions about your sex life to a doctor you've never met before. LOADS of fun. Wish we started sooner.

You should adopt, then you’ll get pregnant right away (or the "you could always adopt")

I would never ever ever use adoption as a method of getting pregnant. How absolutely terrible for the adopted child!!! Besides, check your facts. There is no correlation between adoption and having a biological child. The percentage for getting pregnant after an adoption is exactly the same as the percentage of getting pregnant before adoption.

My husband just looks at me and I get pregnant

Good For you!

Here, you can just have one of my kids

The next time someone says this to me, I might just grab their kid, hop in my car and drive off, just to prove what a heartless comment that is.

Things could be worse

For me, this IS the "worse." My feelings are valid.

You're still young

I'm well aware of my age, thank you. I'm also well aware that my endometriosis makes conceiving a child more and more difficult with each passing year. Six years is a long time to try to conceive. I'm not quite keen on adding more and more years to that just because you think that I'm "still young."

There must be unresolved sin in your life

Well thank you for implying that I am such a horrible person that God would punish me by not giving us children!! Never mind the fact that there are people who are in such sinful lifestyles who are getting pregnant all the time. But no, apparently I'm the one who is too evil to have children.

And while the following comment is sweetly well intended and I never take offense to it, it's a comment that I have go in one ear and out the other:

We know it will happen for you (or other variations such as "I had a dream you'd get pregnant and my dreams always come true")

The following are comments that we truly love and appreciate. But because I get so embarrassed, I don't usually know what to say...but please know that if you're reading this and you have either done or said these things...we love you so much for it.

     How are you?
     Is there anything I can do? (not likely, but the fact you care enough to ask means the world)
     Can I get you some tissues?
     I'm here if you want to talk about it
    We are praying for you/can we pray for you?

 

And the actions...

     a hug
     crying with us
     a card in the mail
    remembering that while I do not have a child in my arms, I AM a mother and my child is  in heaven.